It is alleged on social media and
sources confirm that my wife committed murder and I am responsible
and shall be punished forthwith.

I was asked a question by a media
reporter via a link live on television and radio today during a Press
Conference yesterday about why the colour of the sky isn't as blue as
it once was and whether I should apologize for my wife's alleged
murder.

I'm afraid I did not answer the
question in a correct way and asked the reporter why did Jesus ride a
donkey?

This has caused a fire storm.

However, the senior minister started
the Press Conference by highlighting the firestorm and rightly said
that I am NOT responsible for my wife's actions. He also said I could
also not be found responsible for any actions my children nor my
family pets take even if they attack, bite or murder anyone.

He also said the press conference was
in place to address “the national emergency … and we need to
focus on what is important and what is critical and not what is
exciting.”

I applaud the minister. He also
commended on the job I was doing. I am so happy about that I publicly
thanked him, especially at the flack I have been taking on social
media about the job I am doing.

Even though the minister took less than
five minutes to say all this one local commentator said (the
minister) “spent most of his time today addressing the firestorm
that ensued yesterday”.

The facts are there is absolutely no
proof at all my wife committed this murder, nor who the victim is.
The question was presented in a way that my wife was guilty. Not
content with that the local commentator said I did not address the
point of whether my wife had committed the murder and I did not
apologise for asking the reporter why did Jesus ride a donkey.

Now comes this damning “evidence”.
The senior minister concluded my wife did not commit any murder nor
was any dead body found. However, the commentator stated “others in
the public live stream shared that the alleged murder took place at
the public shark sanctuary and that was why no body was found”.

END

EDITOR: Of course the above is pure
fiction. Any similarity with any event, local or foreign, that has
taken place today, yesterday or anywhere is purely coincidental.

If anyone is puzzled as to why I wrote
the above today as an Editorial they can consider I am a jackass.